Category Archives: busing with babies

Back on the bus

We’re back from a fun visit to Detroit. I must say, busing with a small child is good practice for riding an airplane with one. Bus Nerd and I are excellent at packing light (haven’t checked a bag yet), and we know how to keep Chicklet entertained on rides.* Chicklet is used to sitting quietly in vehicles full of people and a pro at sleeping on the go. As a result of her training, she was an absolute angel during our travels, including the bus rides to and from the airport.

On to the trip recap:

A good time was had by all. Chicklet got to help her granddad celebrate his birthday (that’s two grandpa birthdays in a little over two weeks) and just generally bond with her Michigan fam; Nerd got to bask in the joy of being in his city (the man loves Detroit at least as much as I love Seattle, and that’s a lot of love); and I got to indulge my secret affinity for candy paint and big wheels (hey–everyone’s got a vice) and enjoy being surrounded by tributes to my shero.

Rosa Parks Federal Building

Rosa Parks Transit Center – almost finished!

Sadly, I didn’t get a photo of Rosa Parks Boulevard; we didn’t have the camera handy.

We didn’t do much–OK, any–Detroit busing this time, as we were traveling with family (we walked a lot, if that counts), but because we intended to, Bus Nerd spent a little time on DDOT’s website. In the course of his trip planning, he came across these Arabic bus schedules. Cool, no?

And finally, a cool sign across from the area on Belle Isle where we picnicked for my father-in-law’s birthday.

Bus Nerd says it’s a real bus stop. Next time, we’ll ride the bus to Belle Isle so we can actually use it.

* OK, not four-hour rides, but still.

Anatomy of a bus mom

Front-pack carrier and lightweight stroller*?

Check.

Stories for the ride?

Check.

Extra time for hugs?

Che-eck.

* I rarely travel with a stroller, but the day I rode with this woman I had mine. (Chicklet and I were heading to Green Lake for a walk.) Just like me, this bus mom had her baby in an Ergo carrier, and just like me, she had her lightweight stroller (the exact same brand, in fact) folded and leaning on the seat next to her. The only difference was that I had my wheels turned away from the seat, since dirt on seats is one of my bus peeves. :)

A pretty good run

I do my best to be a good mother.* I also (usually) do my best to be a good bus citizen. During the first year of Chicklet’s life, these goals were complementary. As long as I made sure my little one’s needs were met and paid plenty of attention to her, she was well-behaved and quiet on our rides.

Now that we’re knee-deep in the willful toddler phase (she’ll be 18 months on May 1st), these goals are often in conflict. Good parenting practices require that I establish clear boundaries and thus to deny some of Chicklet’s many requests/demands, while good bus citizenship requires that I prevent her from disturbing our fellow passengers.

I managed this balancing act fairly well until last Friday, which shall be known henceforth as The Day of Chicklet’s First Bus Meltdown. (The details aren’t particularly interesting. She wanted more snacks than I thought appropriate in a moving public space–so soon after her recovery from a long bout with the stomach flu.) The howling only lasted for two of the 30+ minutes it took us to get to Green Lake, and I’m happy to report that we both survived. (So, thankfully, did our fellow passengers.) I’d be totally over it by now, if I didn’t know for sure that there are many more similar battles of will to come. Two is approaching, after all.

To all those who have the misfortune to encounter Meltdown Chicklet on a future ride: My apologies. I am hoping to exchange a couple of years of occasional bad bus citizenship for a lifetime of good world citizenship.

* OK, I obsess about it constantly.

From 3 billion to one-on-one

Chicklet’s best* bus-related quote for the month of March:

“Time to get on the bus–and cuddle up with Mommy!”

Guess I’m not the only one who enjoys our travel time.

*And by best I mean, Mom’s favorite.

And speaking of crafts…

On our 48 ride home yesterday, a very kind bus driver gave Chicklet a page to color. She (the bus driver) had a whole folder full of these:

Chicklet’s masterpiece, completed post-ride. Limited (but appropriate!) color palette provided by Mom.

And, I assume, she dispensed them to other pint-sized riders throughout the day. Nice touch. Now all they need is Metro-themed crayons.

Update, 2/9:

Another ride (with the same driver), another picture:

My 16-month old artiste

Happy she got to choose her own colors this time

I love riding on the coloring-page-woman’s bus. She’s friendly and helpful to everyone, remembers passengers from one day to the next, and knows a lot about the city and the route she drives. She even has a sign in her front window that says, “I love my job.” (Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a photo of it.)

We can tell, Ms. Bus Driver. We can tell.

Busing (and biking) with baby(ies) in Boston

For those of you who are interested in car-free parenting stories, I highly, highly recommend Car Free with Kids, a blog written by Angela and Dorea Vierling-Claassen, two mathematicians and bike/bus/T chicks who are raising a child (soon to be two!) without a car. In a recent post about surviving car-free babyhood, they almost perfectly described my feelings on the subject.

So if it really is this hard, why do it? Why do the work of navigating pregnancy, babyhood and toddlerhood (perhaps several times) without a car? What, exactly, is the payoff? The payoff is a life in which your entire family is firmly integrated in your local neighborhood and your child isn’t made to sit still, strapped in, as you drive endless mindless miles from one thing to the next. The neighbors you meet as you are out walking or regularly frequenting the local park (because it is so close, and you can’t really drive to the nicer one a little farther away), become the friends that you call when your whole family is throwing up, but you are out of pedialyte and soda crackers. And if you are already a person who loves the freedom and independence of biking and minimal dependence on a car, isn’t that something you want to share with your kid(s)? Life changes when kids come into the picture, but you don’t have to leave what matters to you behind. Better to keep the things you love and are proud of, and include your children, even if it’s a little inconvenient at first.

I couldn’t have said it better–except that I don’t think it’s that hard. Well, maybe sometimes. There are days when I come home and complain to Bus Nerd about particular struggles, which generally involve errands with Chicklet or attempts to visit far-flung friends.* I tend to start my rants by saying something like, “I don’t regret our choice to live this way and don’t want to change it, but … daaaaaaaaaaang!” Nerd usually gives me his “What’s the big deal?” look (sometimes he even says, “So what’s the big deal?”), and I eventually get over it.

From now on, I’ll just check in with Angela and Dorea when I need some encouragement.

* An example: My friend Sundee, a fellow biracial, left-handed, writer, mom, and Good Shepherd member, lives in unincorporated King County, also known as Land of No Buses–or sidewalks, for that matter. I have to rent a Zipcar (which involves reserving the one car that’s within walking distance–assuming it’s available–and then schlepping Chicklet and her car seat the three plus blocks to pick it up) every time I want to visit her, so it doesn’t happen very often. I’m all for sticking with what’s in your neighborhood, but–unlike dry cleaners and video stores–friends aren’t interchangeable.

Bus Chick plays suburban mom

Last Sunday, the bus fam made a rare weekend trip to the Eastside (48+545+221) to attend a birthday party at–ahem!–Chuck E. Cheese. The place didn’t seem to impress Chicklet much, but then again, she’d already taken three exciting rides (with big wheels and spinning seats and ringing bells!) before we even arrived.

Yesterday, Chicklet and I made another trip to the Eastside (27+550)–for our second-ever visit to Babies R Us. The store itself was a bit frightening (Have I mentioned that I don’t care for shopping?), but the excursion was delightful. The entire trip took three hours, which included about 45 minutes in the store. The rest of the time was spent traveling/waiting, certainly longer than it would have taken to drive (sans traffic) to and from Bellevue, but–by my calculations–we didn’t lose any time. During our trip, Chicklet lunched, napped, and “read” (with the help of Mommy) her latest favorite books. I enjoyed several short, brisk walks in the sunshine (no need to set aside special time to exercise) and quality time with my kid. Had we been home, we wouldn’t have spent the afternoon much differently.

And I challenge any SUV mom to top the big vehicle we used to carry home our purchases.

What I’ve learned in my first year as a bus parent (the condensed version)

Riding partners (photo by: Bus Hero)

Planning is essential.
The single biggest difference between being a bus parent and being a car parent is the amount of mental energy that’s required to make it through the day efficiently, productively, and free of stress. Some examples:

• Packing: Chicklet and I travel with one bag. In it we must carry everything we will need while we’re out: meals and snacks; books; diapers, diaper wraps, and wipes; an umbrella; a change of clothing, lotion, antibacterial gel, library passports… you get the picture. Unlike car moms, I can’t afford to bring anything I don’t need, but I also can’t afford to be two bus rides from home with a hungry, cold, or wet baby.
• Timing (part I): When possible, I arrange long bus trips during Chicklet’s naptime. She is a pro at napping on the go (in fact, she prefers bus naps to bed naps), and I far prefer peace (and perhaps even a few minutes of grown-up reading) to 20+ minutes of bored-Chicklet management.
• Timing (part II): It’s hard for any parent to be out the door on time, and a bus parent has to be out the door at an exact time. I always start getting Chicklet ready long before it’s time to go, and we still end up leaving the house in a rush, just in time to catch our bus.
• Errands: For many reasons, I do my best to minimize shopping. Unfortunately (even with groceries covered), some errands are unavoidable, and bus errands with a baby can be tough. Not only do they require meticulous planning (see above), but (hands-free carrier or not) it’s hard to carry anything of significance home with you. We do our Craigslist pickups (et cetera) during off-peak hours, or (very occasionally) we rent a Zipcar. But even “Zipping” is more of a challenge with a kid, since it requires me to schlep Chicklet and her ginormous car seat down the street to the car and then (correctly) install the seat before we go anywhere.

Comfort is key.
As a childless bus chick, I advocated shoes that were comfortable and cute. Today, I say: Cute, schmute! When I’m traveling with Chicklet, it’s all about comfort. (Hey, you try covering the pavement miles in heeled boots with a 20-pound weight strapped on.) And yes, I did purchase a pair of all-purpose walking shoes from one of those earthy stores I used to make fun of.

Comfywalking shoes, purchased at that earthy store near Westlake

Crying is not an option.
If you take a cranky baby on a car trip, you’re the only one who has to endure the howling. Cranky babies on buses, on the other hand, share their howling with dozens of innocent bystanders. Because of this, I consider it my responsibility to keep Chicklet content and well-behaved for the duration of every ride. This sometimes requires effort (ah, how I miss those carefree days of naps and novels!) but is required for good bus citizenship.

On the plus side:

Car free is gear free. (or, Who needs a baby travel system?)
[I ain’t one to hawk products, but] There is a special place in heaven for the inventor of the Ergo Baby. I’ve already listed the many reasons I love this carrier, and I love it more every day I use it. It has been the single most important factor in my (and my child’s) comfort and general enjoyment of busing this year, and I’m fairly confident it will serve us well until she’s at least two. And speaking of…

Busing means bonding.
Attachment parents–listen up: Unlike car moms, who have to strap their kids into car seats, I get to ride face to face with my chicklet. We read, talk, cuddle, make new friends, and watch the world together.

Bus moms are buff moms.
A year* after waddling to the hospital to deliver, I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight (after gaining a wee bit–OK, a lot–more than my doctor recommended), and I haven’t counted a single calorie or even considered visiting a gym. In fact, aside from a handful of trips to the local track, I haven’t made a special effort to exercise. Believe me, my life as a bus parent is exercise enough.

I’ve made plenty of adjustments this year, but then, what new parent doesn’t make adjustments? The good news is, Chicklet has not been deprived of any advantage or experience that is available to the children of car-owning parents, yet she’s been enriched and educated in many ways that car kids have not. I can honestly say that the benefits (to my family and to the planet) of my first year bus parenting far outweigh any challenges. Bring on the next 17!

* This actually happened around the 10-month mark, but who’s counting?

Happy birthday, Chicklet!

In her first year of life, my child has ridden the following routes:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 21, 23, 25, 26, 27, 36, 41, 44, 48, 54, 55, 56, 60, 66, 70, 74, 134, 150, 174, 194, 230, 255, 358, 545, 550, 554, 590–not to mention the Monorail, Puyallup Fair shuttle, Elliott Bay Water Taxi, Detroit People Mover, Amtrak, Portland Streetcar, and a few Portland bus routes.

How I know Chicklet is a true BCiT:

Yesterday, we met my friend Kelley and her baby daughter Evan for our weekly walk/lunch at Green Lake. After lunch, I took a credit card out of my wallet to pay our bill. Chicklet, in her custom of naming everything she sees, pointed at the card and announced (with great enthusiasm), “Buhpash!”*

And then there was this morning, when we three headed downtown on the 27 (eventual destination: Seattle Children’s Theater). As soon as we sat down, Chicklet reached for my bag. “Bik!”** she demanded. “Bik! Bik!”

Indeed.

Our seasoned bus rider, celebrating Halloween at Daddy’s office (48 + 545) party

Translations:
*Bus pass
**Book

On moms, Montlake, and marketing

Today, on our visit to the Montlake library (five stamps down, 21 to go), Chicklet and I met another mother-daughter bus team in the children’s section. I chatted for a while with the mother, who lives in Eastlake, is part of a one-car family, and uses Metro to get around town with her 19-month old daughter. She’s expecting another baby in March, and she and her husband seriously considered buying a second car to accommodate their expanding family.

“But then I saw one of those new Metro ads,” she said. “They say, ‘I do make a difference by riding the bus.’ And that’s what I believe. I do make a difference. That’s me.”

“Actually,” I said. “That’s me.”