A very drunk man is holding court in the back of the bus. “Happy Mother’s Day, family,” he says to (sleeping) Chicklet, Nerd, and me as we make our way to our seats. He proceeds to say the same to everyone within earshot, including a young teenage girl who is holding hands with her boyfriend in the adjacent seat.

Drunk man’s friend: “Who all you going to say that to, man?”

Drunk man: “Everybody. To the young ladies, I say ‘Happy Mother’s Day to be.'” Some folks say to me, ‘Oh, I’m not a mother; I missed my opportunity,’ but I tell ’em, ‘It takes a village, and you’re part of that village, so happy Mother’s Day to you, too.'”